unclegogo.com Blog

Just Kidding…

It’s necessary, I know, but I am really not enjoying the X’s daily apartment search update… Nor am I thrilled to hear that the little roomie has found an apartment. OK, guys, it’s OK, I gotta know this stuff, want to help best I can and definitely don’t want to be surprised, so carry on. Just remember that at the end of your searches I’m left rattling around a big ol’ empty furniture-less place full of old memories that I can barely afford.

Of course, what I should be doing is looking myself, unfortunately the 60 70 hours I’m putting in at work these days doesn’t leave enough time or energy to get that underway.

Anyhow… look at me being all whiney and self absorbed. Let’s move on.

Had a great little moment last night. Pulled into a bar on N 7th, Zoblonski’s or something to that effect. Really just another Williamsburg trendy kid hang out…. but well appointed, AND staffed by a bartender playing some great tunes off his ibook. Anyhow, after some mutual admiration over the music, introducing him to Ema Sumac… he threw on some old Portishead, Dummy. Well if that didn’t take me right back to my divorce. I had almost forgot about that stuff. Anyhow, I ended up sitting there, ordered an extra beer, put a sad smile on my face and had a nice little fade back to the days of Michele… The torrid days of post-marriage Toronto bein’ the old man poppin from rave to rave, hangin’ out at the trannie bars and generally getting shit faced with my old pal and co-bachelor cohort Oliver. They were good days.

My mission today, download Dummy

Here comes the weekend.

So, apparently I only embarrassed myself, my X and my roomie… Everyone at the office seems oblivious to anything that may have happened between 8:30pm and 4:00am… Good.

I feel like crap.

Tonight I sleep

Had a few drinks with the pals last night, always good to chit chat with friends at times like these. It was really nice as the X did pop in and I think we established quickly that our common pals weren’t going to be all squirmy around the two of us [correct me if I'm wrong here]. I do have one small pledge to make, yes, ok, I will try to keep the gallows humor to a minimum.

Anyhow, this is all going so smoothly, that I cannot help but think I am going to get slammed hard at some point soon. Or, maybe it just wont be hard this time ’round. Maybe the final physical splitting of the ways will crush me like a cartoon anvil, who knows.

Maybe I should re-write this page of mine.

Anyhow, back to the first thought. Friends really are the best folks. Unlike family, they do drift in and out of your life more frequently, but honestly the ones drifting close to me at this time are, well, great.

Oh, and thanks for the great big heeping pile of Chicken De… whatever you call it. My belly is happier for it today.

So, yes my mom has called, and my cousin has left me email. My mother wants to make sure that I’m not drinking too much and that I am brushing my teeth. My cousin, well, he’s just checking in. Me, I have checked into Hotel X.

One of the unique wrinkles on breaking up in NYC is that, firstly, it’s impossible to find a new place any time soon, AND none of your friends have room on the couch [my couch is already occupied]… So, you’re kind of left stuck living with your X for a while after the formal break up. This isn’t that big of a problem in my case, as we are very civil people. I can’t imagine what it must be like for those couple’s whose break up is punctuated by a smashed plate over the head.

I’m looking at this period, two month, three months, six months whatever as an opportunity to chill down the old relationship and work on the buddy thing. The fact that we already have a roomie is probably a good thing as it reinforces that whole concept that we’re just three dudes sharing some space.

The plan tonight is to clean it all up a bit so that we can share it a bit better, and enjoy it through the winter.

Ya, ya, for those of you who still see some foolish optimism being spouted here, well I’ll remind you, I’ve been here, I know what’s coming, and I know why I’m feeling like I’m feeling. Yes, I have thought about her absence at next Thanksgiving, yes, I am worried about what we will finally do with the cats AND yes, I see a huge gaping hole in the next twelve months “regularly scheduled” family events… maybe the X will still fill some, maybe some other gal will.

Does anyone know a great cheap place to get major dental work done?

So here I am again… Fear not, this is not going to be some whiny self indulgent post about how wronged I have been, or how sad I am. Well, OK yes I am a bit sad, and I guess really this can’t be anything but self indulgent. As for the wronged bit, nope I ain’t been wronged at all.

Hey all this has happened before. It was a little less than ten years ago, I woke up an old single guy after loosing my wife of eight years. Things weren’t so bad after we sold the kids into slavery, but it did hurt for quite sometime. The nice thing about this current situation is that the intensity of the hurt is nowhere the suprise it was the first time.

Waking up an old single guy is not without it’s exciting moments. Hey, the opportunity to haggle with new chicks is a pretty cool thought, dampened somewhat this time considering we did have an open relationship, and that I was able to have haggled with new chicks if I so wanted. Honestly, this time around, I think I’ll just enjoy being an old single man alone. Most likely as I am a quite a bit older single man than I was the first time, and well, I’ve found out over the last few years that the battlefield on which this thing called dating and fucking has become a far more difficult place… for an older single man. [Besides, I have major renovations to take care of if I want to put a good package out there on the market]…

So, here I am starting off as an old single man for the second time, and as a single man for the 5th time. I’ll ask [warn perhaps] my friends up front, please bare with a few maudlin moments. I swear this time I will try to keep the over-indulgent antics to a minimum, I really just couldn’t survive the level of substance abuse I put myself through the last time. Hey, for all my coupley pals, I’ll try not to fifth wheel you too much… But please, let’s stay in touch.

OK, let the renovations begin.

Thanks in advance for your patience.

OK, in all honesty, it’s day two, day one was eradicated by my sleeping in until 1:30, then drinking my face off watching the days football games, then passing out at 8:30. A typical day one as far as I remember. So, as far as this goes, I’m settling into this OK today. Back at work. Sending email back and forth with the X, you know trying to establish the terms of the post relationship relationship. Having done this before, it all seems oddly familiar. Familiar but obviously not the same. I think there is the opportunity to do something interesting with this post relationship relationship. I mean considering how we managed the relationship in the first place.

Early optimism, I guess we’ll have to see. I do however have a lot of faith in the old gal, and her ability to let things develop oddly with respect to the way they are supposed to work out.

Regrets Today: Oh, way to frikin many to bore you with.

Feelings Today: Hurt sad and other wise panicked to be yet again facing this cold harsh world without a solid companion.

Projects: Redo my resume